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I Don’t Know What to Do

Have you ever felt like you want to scream?

But you are censored

Because it is not right, not proper, not acceptable

You can only scream in silence

Unable to free away from the hand that took the voices out of your mouth

It followed you

Like shadow

Now you lost the words, you want to say

You can’t summon the words that might be worth saying, anymore

And you can only accept, what’s going on around you

Like a one way street

Even if you can spot the oversight

In your heart

You know it is               

Only one side of the dice

They all have the greater power to take away your voice

That insignificant voice that meant a lot to you

That insignificant knowledge that you know you have

That might be worth considering

Even if it is nonsense

No one else but you… know

No one else dares to listen

No one pays attention

Or if they did, it simply go over their head

Like a dust

Like fluxes of neutrinos that crosses their anatomic bodies

Not even a second look

And you feel that bitter… oh so bitter… acidic… lump of fluid slowly forming in your throat… can’t breath anymore

And your eyes let go

Instead they want you to see what you don’t want to see

Hear what you don’t want to hear

Not because you didn’t

You did

Wholeheartedly… you did

And it turned that virgin spirit inside of you, on to a limbo

The blank slate has now been scratched

And you are not the same… anymore

As the heaven, land, and sea, as witnesses

They all could testify, you allowed it in your senses

To learn from it

Hoping they would… too… would listen

Like how you, opened your eyes and ears and indigenous soul

But it is not enough

That they have to make sure you won’t blink a Plank of time

Being in the midst of an overwhelming masquerade displayed around you

What you hear must be followed, because it’s being shouted

Right up in your ears

Splattering saliva in your neck and forehead

And you can feel the nerve traveling

Up to the tip of your split ends

Bombarding sounds that’s turned to law and order

Gyrated by the obscenity of the acceptable imbalance

Ambivalence to a pornographic rapture intended to be what’s good for you

Because everyone seems to be carrying on but you

You question, your own senses

To what’s right and what’s wrong

What’s acceptable and what could put you to a taboo

And if you snap, that is you aching for a strap jacket to exile

Because you are not fit enough

In comparison to the etc… etc… etc… in the society

So you’d have to learn how to bow down

And not be slow or thick

Know your place

And don’t cross the line

Don’t be too imaginative and dreamy

Hale thy piece of rock that sits on the top of the tower

Someone put it there for a reason

Because those graffiti in your head have no place in this foundation

Can you still hear your self now?…